Easy Living: a story about life after death, after death, after death...: an intriguing and romantic mystery about life after death by Caron Allan

Easy Living: a story about life after death, after death, after death...: an intriguing and romantic mystery about life after death by Caron Allan

Author:Caron Allan [Allan, Caron]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-03-29T04:00:00+00:00


Chapter Sixteen

It had finally occurred to me that I would be seeing my friends again, in the spirit, in the flesh, that I wouldn’t be alone for long. It was strange, the way I felt about being back in Susan’s flat. It smelled terrible, was filthy, ragged, a real hovel. Yet it also seemed familiar to me. Once I’d got over my fear of dying again, I was almost relieved to be back there. It wasn’t exactly a sense of coming home, but something very close to that. I didn’t like the miserable place, but it was—familiar. I was no longer afraid to be there.

I don’t really know why, but I tried to tidy up the place. I felt I couldn’t leave it as it was. I opened the windows to let in fresh air, piled up the worst of the broken furniture in the hall, as it would need to be disposed of. I pulled down the torn curtains. I cleaned up the kitchen as best I could with no detergent or hot water using a rag made from Susan’s only other blouse. But I couldn’t bring myself to even look at the gas cooker.

I went on in this way for about an hour, bustling about the grotty little place and not letting my thoughts settle anywhere apart from each little task as I did it. In the end I ran out of displacement activities. Previously I had thought I was okay with all this, but I’d clearly been kidding myself, after all. I was terrified. But there was no choice. This didn’t constitute an emergency, so I had no alternative but to go through with it. So I had to confront my feelings.

I sat on the sofa. It was filthy. The covers were torn. The springs and strands of horsehair poked through in several places and there was a watermark about three inches high all along the base as if someone had once put the sofa out in the street in the rain for the refuse collectors, but Susan had got to it first. It smelled truly appalling.

The flat was deafening with silence. No sound echoed within unless I made a sound myself, clearing my throat or humming or something. No sound came from any of the other flats in the building, and even the outdoor noises coming in through the windows seemed dull and remote.

I was lonely. I could finally admit that to myself. Lonely and… afraid. This whole situation would have been so much easier if the others had been with me. But to be here, and alone… And to have to Go in this manner… How Susan had the guts, I will never know. Give me a car accident any day of the week.

My thoughts sprang back to earlier when I had said goodbye to the others at the park gates. Sasha and I had both tried to smile, feeling foolish about our tears. We had both rummaged through our handbags for wispy little hankies to save our make-up and blow our noses.



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